you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
