living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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