pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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