dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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