Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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