In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i think i just lost a toe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
