i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
