I'm drive I can fine osifer
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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