I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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