You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
