I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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