You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
did i just pee glitter
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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