He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
