He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
