As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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