Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The power of my boobs compel you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
