what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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