Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
