I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
