Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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