Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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