He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
