Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
