R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Everything about him screamed your future.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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