Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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