Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
