He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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