So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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