On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
