What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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