Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
