she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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