apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
