He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
