Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
