she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
