Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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