Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
