piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
