He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
