People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
pray to the hookup gods
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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