Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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