Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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