Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
