Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
