Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this will be a night to untag.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
