i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
