Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
