Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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