She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
