I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
