By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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