Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
