well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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