I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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